Self-confidence could mean a lot of things to different people, but true confidence is the power to accept who you are and live in that truth, with the ability to grow and adapt as time goes on. As you get older, you realize the importance of self-confidence and the significant areas of your life where self-confidence is key. From applying for jobs to progressing in the workplace, dating, overcoming fears and so much more. Self-confidence is within each one of us, and it crucial to own who you are and build self-belief for you to step into your power and own it.
The truth is that we all have confidence issues, men, women, the young, and the old. Confidence does not come overnight, and it needs practice and cultivation. You can shape your future, and carve out your destiny, so let us get into confidence building.
Different factors may have caused you to lose confidence or prevented you from gaining it in the first place. And since confidence is not merely achieved by following a set of rules, it may seem hard to find answers to the question, "How do I build my confidence?" First things first:
- Understanding the root: It all starts with understanding what it is you want to build your confidence in and why your confidence is lacking in that area. Is there something that has had a profound effect on you in childhood, it is something that has happened later in life, or maybe you have never had the opportunity to work on that particular area of your life. Whatever the answer is, unraveling that story and accepting those truths allow you to put that in the past and move forward with the present and future. Now, growing from that answer may not be an overnight thing, it could be something you journal on, or maybe seeking therapy or counseling, perhaps it’s several conversations with yourself or a friend/family member to put whatever it may be firmly in the past. Whatever the solution is, do what works for you.
- The power of thought: Positive thoughts are a very powerful way of improving confidence as if you believe you can do something, you are most likely going to work harder to make sure you do it. Confidence stems from the inside, and so your journey to the “confident you” must start from there. You must build a good reputation for you within yourself!
- Affirmations on another level: Once you start to think differently, the next step is to change how you talk about yourself and start to affirm that with your words. Instead of saying things like “I am not confident in that area”, you change it to “I have work to do to build my confidence in that area” or “I am gaining my confidence and will be proficient in that area”. What you tell yourself, and how you talk to yourself matters, so use your words carefully and kindly.
The practical steps
Self-confidence can diminish over time if you do not practice the skill, or when you hit a setback (as some of us are experiencing this period). To boost your confidence, with the right thoughts in mind, you must continue to gain experience as the case may be. The brutal truth is that you have to push yourself into scenarios and situations that are uncomfortable and outside of your comfort zone.
Some of our suggestions for doing these are here, and include items that are relevant for the current macro-environment:
- Attend virtual meet-ups
- Join virtual speaking courses
- Engage in Instagram Lives
- Be more deliberate about addressing issues with colleagues, partners, and friends, learning to be assertive.
With proper practice of your isolation period confidence targets, after the isolation period you may:
- Attend events: Here, you may introduce yourself to someone new, stand to answer a question in the meeting, or even wear something that will draw attention.
- Engage in public speaking: Speaking to a group of people may seem like a particularly scary task, so you might volunteer to give speeches or presentations to overcome this fear.
Have you met people who are so sincere and honest, they own themselves, flaws and all? They are not scared to be laughed at and you laugh with them? And any task they accept to handle seems like a done deal? You are surely on your way to becoming one when you maximize the never-ending opportunities that you will have both during and after the COVID-19 isolation to gain the experience!
Self-confidence isn’t just about how you interact and communicate with others, it can also be how you feel about yourself and your body. Understand that you are beautiful and tell yourself that daily. The first person that needs to accept you, is you. Learn to be comfortable in your skin, take pictures for yourself, dress up, wear make up for yourself, and give compliments to yourself. It all starts within and loving the skin you are in. Know that you are not alone, and as we mentioned, we all go through this, but we will learn together and grow together!
Let us know your comments and tips below!